Dear Nan: It feels like I'm home

Let the letter writing begin!

My nan always said: You ask a lot of questions, Kim.

She also said: and you’ve always talked a lot.

She didn’t say those things in a negative way. Rather quite matter of fact, and anyway, I would never have been able to deny them. Yes, I do ask a fair few questions, and yes, I tend to talk a lot.

It was a bit of a running joke, truth be told, but I can’t tell you how thankful I am for those traits now that Nan has gone, because I am able to carry her stories, keep them safe, and cherish them, and the life that they represent. Thankfully I’ve also written them down. Without those questions and conversations and writings Nan’s stories would be hidden amongst memories, and as lovely as they are, they fade as time zooms along.

Dear Nan is a collection of letters creatively told by me, Betty’s eldest grandchild, taken from the many, many conversations, and actual letters, over my 50 years of knowing her.

In these letters I want to share with you, her life. One that was well lived, a remarkable life, but not in the sense of adventures to far flung places, or one full of career highlights. In fact, my nan had never stepped foot on a plane, nor held a wage earning job outside of childhood. Her life was a simple one, but one that she wouldn’t have traded for all the gold the world.

These letters are not only part of her story, they are also mine. Through the lense of the relationship we had, I am going to tell the stories in the best way I know how - through the written word - a humble letter. The very same way we communicated often, ever since I was a little girl.

These letters are not going to be full of grief and loss, though. Far from it. Of course there will be times when those themes come up, and those parts will be told, but on the whole, these letters will be a joyous sharing of the beautiful connection I had with my nan. They will touch on happiness, and joy, and nostalgia, and childhood, and the deep, deep love I have for the woman who showed me what it is to live a life by my own measures, and to appreciate home and family and love beyond all else.

One thing I can guarantee is there will be lots to smile about, and plenty to giggle over because she was a funny bunny, my nan, and we had an extremely grounded, warts-and-all kind of relationship.

I hope you enjoy these letters and all that goes with them. The photos, the recipes, the memories. There will also be some illustrated papers for you to download and use in your own letter writing endeavours. And my hope is that Dear Nan might also encourage and inspire you to remember the stories of your own family, and childhood, and the moments worth capturing and savouring, and that you might start writing them down for yourself, and for those you hold dear.

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Dear Nan,

It feels like the longest time since I’ve written to you. Two years seems like an eternity, and to be honest, I’ve been reluctant to write for fear that I won’t be able to stop.

There is so much to catch up on, so many pieces of life to unwrap, and discuss, and remember, and savour. And you know me, writing is my way of processing the internal goings on of this often chaotic brain of mine. But who am I kidding, writing to you is really about connection. It’s about feeling like you’re there, listening, laughing, responding in your not-so-wordy way, pondering what on earth I am rambling on about this time, and slowly trying process it, but not too slowly before I’m onto the next question or story. I kept you on your toes like that, didn’t I;)

I can see you now, your face a little bit scrunched up, as you try to think back to whatever moment in time the question I just asked you is relevant to. I can hear you. You’d say something like:

Well, I’ve got a shocking memory, darl, you know that. Hang on and I’ll ask Uncle Charlie, I mean Pop ….argh Grandpa!

And I’d giggle at the long list of names you would go through when you were trying to find the right one, to fit the right person.

And now it’s just hit me. I’m the same. I’m that person. I’ve made it to the list-all-of-the-people-you-know-before-you-get-to-the-right-name phase of my life.

I’ve finally arrived.

Here’s me secretly thinking it was ‘just a Nan’ thing, and next minute I’m calling … Poppy…. Leo ….Nass (where on earth did that come from?!) …argh …Jess (no, Jess is my step-daughter!)… grrrr ….Coco (oh the relief)… to come and get her bone off my front door mat!

And you know what I’ve also just realised, as these words flow onto the page? That writing to you IS connecting me to you. I can feel it already, in these few meager lines, and after two years of silence, I’m done with that.

So, it’s enough with the silence and sadness. There are 50 years of love, and laughter, and stories, and conversations to remember, and write about, and enjoy, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

I’m going to write to you again.

Oh, Nan, it feels like I’m home.

Love always

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